where's da love???

why just can anybody luv me?is it very hard just to luv me?do i have to beg just to get some of your luv?

i keep on convincing maself dat there's sumbody who lov me..i keep on convincing maself dat my mom luv me...but it will just end up dissapointing me..dah habis ke kasih sayang dia sampai takleh nak bg ckit pun kat aku??since i got into mmu and i got my ptptn, i didn't ask her to gimme money pun...i live by maself...okay masa kat emerald, she pay da rental...after that, not a cent pun..again i ask for her money masa memula pindah cyber...coz i really need money at dat time...dengan nak baya deposit and to buy sum furniture...but after that, not a penny...all da rental, da electrical bills, water bills, books and cloth all from da ptptn...tak mintak kat dia pun...even when i got back to ma hometown...any hauzhold stuff yg takde, i bought wif ma own money...tak claim pun...but yet, i'm still the black sheep of da family....

cume nak mintak tulun bayakan bill tepon jerk coz i really need to make a phone call..i want to set an interview coz dah 2 kali miss interview wif ntv7...and i wanna make a comformation wif citibank bout my interview...bukannyer mahal..RM100 sumthing jerk...i only ask her to pay da bill...bukan soh bayakan sewa ker..bayakan bill ker..tanggung mkn or gimme duit banjer...she just replied, u didn't even call me, so wut for i have to pay ur bill...u can sms and call ur bf but u didn't call me at all..u can spend ur money for dat unnessary call and sms, so suit urself..pay ur own bill..keep on comparing me wif man..abg fatiah..she said that i'm selfish...never think bout others...dat's why my brothers always mad at me..but as far as i'm concern, there's no problem between me and ma brother...slalu jerk kitowang sms or call...buatper call kalo sekadar nak denga dia membebel jerk..she should call me also, coz i'm her daughter rite???bancik dolu masa kat uniten bole jerk dia call slalu..every week..kalo lama tak denga citer bole jerk call...bancik dah dpt duit jpa pun, she will always call and ask him whether he got money...she will always give him sum money when ever he came back to ipoh..but she never ask me whether i got money or not...but i never miss to give her anything on her birthday or on mother's day...wut abour his beloved sons??buat per nak mengungkit nanti cam tak ikhlas...tp, it's really hurting me..

i try ma best not to burden her...semua benda i did on my own...every single thing...tp...sayang sgt ngan her son...he's the most gud child among us..nak kata paling pandai, aku yg paling pandai walaupun sebenanyer tak pandai mana..if he involve in accident,hse'll pay eveeerything..but if i'm involve in accident, i'll every single penny wif ma money...kalo aku blk, semua benda aku buat, dr basuh kain sampai lipat kain, dr masak sampai basuh pinggan...and still, i;m the selfish one...why...wut's wrong wif dat u hate me dat much??ade je benda tak kena...ade je benda nak marah...she'll try to find sumthing as long as dia bole marah aku...xpenah le kalo balik tak kene marah..mmg..mmg aku xtau camne nak amik ati org..i'm not a sweet talker kind of person..i just know how to tell da truth..

i'm not trying to say dat she not a gud mom..it's just i have to take it out..i just can't keep it to maself and carry it anymore..i just dun have sumone to talk to..sumone for me to share ma problem...how i wish dat ma father is still around....tak baik ckp camnie, but....i only felt loved when he's around...she's still da greatest mom on earth...but i just need sum of ur luv...dat's all...